Your children look to you as a role model. This doesn't change just because you are divorcing their other parent. In fact, in these cases, children can learn a great deal about being an adult and having compassion. Even though this is a stressful time, you can help your children to learn how to work through challenges.
One way that you can help your children is to work with your ex. This isn't going to be easy but being willing to negotiate and compromise can go a long way when you are trying to come up with the child custody plan. There isn't any reason why you should make this any more difficult than it has to be.
This doesn't mean that your children have to know everything that is going on. Instead, just make sure that you are being cordial to your ex when the children are around and try not to hash out contentious matters in front of them.
We realize that you might be stressed beyond all belief right now. This is understandable. For some people who are going through a divorce, knowing what to expect helps them to alleviate the stress. We can work with you throughout your case to let you know what is coming up and what options you will have. You might have more time to consider those choices so you can make the decisions that are best for your needs.
When it comes to child custody, you need to try to come up with an agreement quickly, but make sure that you aren't so focused on speed that you overlook what your child needs the agreement to contain.