Once you and your ex determined that you were dissolving your marriage, you also made the decision to raise your children in two different homes. This is a difficult situation for the children because everything they've known is changing. It is also challenging for you because you have to figure out how to navigate the new situation while you are also helping the children to adjust to the new way of life.
Many things can impact how you and your children fare during this time. One of these is how you approach the child custody matters. You shouldn't approach anything as a "me versus the ex" mindset. Having an all or nothing mindset can work against you.
When you are dealing with child custody matters, compromise and teamwork are often the best answers for the children. Your negativity in these matters might spill over to your children and could make it hard for your ex to work with you. The same is true if your ex is the one who is being negative.
There are going to be issues during the co-parenting relationship. You need to find ways to address those that work for your children. Things might get tense between the adults, but both of you have to remember that the goal of these cases is to do what is best for the kids. Your parenting plan should help you stay on plan when things get difficult.
If you find yourself turning into a parent with an all-or-nothing mindset, you need to figure out how to turn that around. Focusing on the positive things and putting the negative things into perspective might help in these cases.