The process of divorcing is sometimes messy, but you have to try to minimize this when you have children together. There are a few things that you should know if you are in this position because all of these can all have an impact on the kids. At the top of your priority list right now must be ensuring that the children have what they need to live a life they can enjoy and thrive despite the divorce.
When your children go through this situation, they want to keep as much the same as they can. One thing that they will probably worry about is whether they will be able to continue to have both parents at their important events. This must be worked out with you and your ex so that the children can have those memories. It gives them the stability that can help them to adjust.
Most kids want to talk about things they enjoy. When they come back to your house from their other parent's home, they might want to let you know what happened. Be willing to listen and encourage them to talk about everything. This can help them to feel as though they have one cohesive life instead of two separate lives.
Even if you and your ex get along, and especially if you don't, never use the children as messengers. You and your ex should speak directly to each other so that you are able to get the correct messages. Using the kids to relay messages can lead to miscommunication and it puts them in a precarious position because they might feel as though they have to choose sides.
Be sure that your parenting plan puts the needs of the kids first. This can help you as you work through situations that arise in the upcoming years.