The process of going through a divorce brings up a lot of uncertainty for children. Helping them to put their fears to rest is one of the most important duties you have as a parent during this difficult transition. As you work to do this, you might find that you have to approach the situation from a variety of areas.
Not having contact with their parents is a fear that many children have in this situation. Encourage your children to talk to you or their other parent no matter which house they are at. This can include phone calls, text messages and video chats. The goal is to let the children know that neither parent will stop them from contacting the other one.
Another issue that they might have is that they feel like they should remain sad. You should show them that is possible to find joy in these circumstances. This can come from being thankful for the experiences that they are having now. Maybe they appreciate having one-on-one time with one parent.
Finding out how they are feeling can help you know what else you need to do. Let them know that you are available to discuss their thoughts and answer their questions. They might have trouble understanding what to expect. You might be able to alleviate those thoughts.
You and your ex should try to set the parenting plan as soon as possible after the marriage ends. This document can provide stability that lets the children know everything is going to be alright as time progresses. Remember to set this document based on what the kids need now since you can modify it down the road if necessary.