Being informed by your co-parent that your child doesn’t want to visit you can be discouraging. What can you do to solve this issue without pushing your child even further away?
Here is what to consider:
Don’t take it personally
Your child refusing to visit you may feel like they are rejecting your parenting. Thus, while it can be challenging, do not take it personally. You want to make clear judgments.
Talk to your child
When the other parent contacts you, request to communicate with your child directly. Ask them why they don’t want to visit you and listen to their answers attentively.
Further, let them know you understand their reasons. For example, if they are having a difficult time moving between two homes, acknowledge how this can be challenging.
Find solutions
You, your co-parent and your kid should develop solutions, depending on the reasons your child provides. If they don’t want to visit you because they don’t have friends in your neighborhood, inform them of how you can help them; for example, you have made friends with a neighboring family with kids their age. If they are having a difficult time moving back and forth, come up with a solution to make transitions smooth and so on.
Learn from your co-parent
Chances are your co-parent is doing something different, possibly they better understand your child emotionally. It won’t hurt to learn from your co-parent.
Consider going to a therapist
If your child provides a deep reason for not wanting to visit, for example, they don’t have a connection with you, it can be beneficial if both of you can see a therapist to find tools that can help you reconnect.
It’s not easy dealing with rejection from your child. Obtain as much information as possible to protect your child’s happiness and your parenting rights.