Children who are going through a divorce with their parents can have a host of things going through their mind. It is important for parents to do what they can to address the fears associated with the divorce so that they can become more secure with the situation.
One fear that is present for almost every child of divorce is that they are the reason for the divorce. You need to explain to your children that the divorce is due to differences between the adults, not anything that they did. This can be hard for children to understand because they tend to personalize and internalize things. You might need to find some media options, such as books, that help to explain the situation.
Another fear that some children have is that they are going to have to choose between parents. Let your children know that you and the other parent are still going to be involved with them. You can tell them the plans for special events if you know those plans now. For example, if the child has a school graduation or function coming up, assure him or her that both parents will be there as long as you know the other parent is coming.
Your child might feel like you and your ex hate each other. Even if things are contentious between the two adults, make sure that you let your children see that you both are going to work together to raise them. You can still present a united parenting front. Along this line, make sure that you don’t argue in front of your children or use them to relay messages back and forth between parents.
Source: Our Family Wizard, “How To Debunk Your Child’s Post-Divorce Fears,” accessed Oct. 25, 2017